regretting time?
by whaterwitch
Summary: one shot 'bout how could you get involved with your one of your best friends.


Disclaimer: well, you all know everything, don't you? These characters aren't mine and I don't own anything but my imagination…so, as you could guess I'm not rich. What is a pitty 

N/A: ok, it wasn't really about willow, and Tara, in fact it wasn't a fic either but I wanted to find a special present and I couldn't do it, yes, I'll burn in hell, I'm a bad girlfriend ¬¬'. So, here we go, a one shot about how everything starts, when one of your best friends, your soulmate, looks hot and spicy and what is more…she sleeps in the same bed! Goddess how was I supposed to stand it? Huh I mean…willow.

Minutes were flying by; every moment spent with her was being intense, special, different as ever.

It didn't feel different from the other times, hugging her, holding her hands, kissing her on the cheek…

It have always felt good, her milky skin around me, her hands caressing my back and those eyes staring happily at me, telling me she'd spend her whole life by my side, as a friend, of course!

We were getting very close, I think sleeping in her dorm during a few days was a good idea, wait…sleeping! I don't remember sleeping at all…I mean we slept but not that kind of sleep you'd call sleeping, ok, it sounds naughty….we spend every night talking, joking and hugging, there might be some subtext in our conversations but I never got it….and…huh, I'm babbling again.

As I was saying that July was being as normal as any month could be in Sunnydale, but a new whole world appeared in front of my eyes one night:

We were sitting on a couch, I was sitting on her lap and she was stroking my hair while I was reading aloud a spell in a book. It was nice; I like her to listen to me.

"wait a sec, I bet I've heard my cell phone" she said with a strange voice, she seemed almost worried, but my thoughts about her behaviour flew away as soon as she stood up leaving me on the couch, alone. Then I could se her standing on her feet, walking trough the room. She was always mysterious and she had that sensual way to do everything…_I'd look her doing anything for hours_ I thought _look at her…she's so shy, she'll never tell you what she's feeling but you can read her emotions in her body, in the way she walks, the way she moves her hands, her gaze…oh Tara you're so..what am I thinking!_

"who rang?" I said

"who what? Oh! Cell phone, yeah well It should have been my imagination. Don't worry" she said.

"cm'here" I invited spreading my arms " huh will, I'm sorry but I'm a bit tired and tomorrow we mustn't be late, we've got Scooby meeting and…

_what is happening? She's kinda nervous, like she's hiding me something._

"ooouch why do we always do whatever you want?" I pouted

"may be 'cause I'm older, I'm the ssible one and what is more…you can't resist my charms" If I hadn't been so shocked I'd have noticed her blushing

_has she said what I think I've heard? "_yeah I swear it_." oh shit, how could I say it? Willow! Can you just control yourself? She will think that you…but it isn't true because, you know…Oz, yeah Oz and I…couple mode there and…huh come on will stop hyperventilating it's not good to your brain, yeah now come to reality and pray for the stupid expression that babble mode leaves in your face to disappear._

Tara stared at me and reached her hand to me at the same time, then she realized I was going on my mental babble and stood up walking to the toilet.

"hmm, Tara…?" I asked knocking on the toilet's door " di I do something that bothered you? May be I said something wrong…" I moved closer to the door trying to hear her, I was afraid that she would be crying, but in fact I was the one who was fighting the crying thing. Finally she started opening the door slowly.

"y-you didn't, I-I mean you didn't do a-anything wrong Will, it's o-o-ok I was just.."

why_ was she stuttering? Thought she was ok with me._ "what is it?" I asked her a bit worried. "What is it ...What? There's nothing…what d-do you m-me-mean Will?

"You're nervous, aren't you? You never stutter with me …what's wrong sweetie?" I met her gaze focusing on keep eye contact with her and when she rose her eyes to lock them with mines I shivered. A sudden lack of air invaded my brain as I lost myself in strange thoughts and feelings. There, the two of us frozen under the door frame.

We stared like this for what seemed a year and during this eternal amount of seconds I read her mind and so she did with me. Somehow the book I has holding fell noisily to the floor breaking our connection and she gasped in shock. I stood up and walked closer to her, I never had felt so linked, so much needed and so much wanted for anyone before. I needed to hold that woman tight and let the world blow away without the two of us. I knew she felt that need too; I wanted to tell her she was one of my most special friends ever. I kissed her on the cheek enjoying that soft touch. She tried to show me a shy smile; besides she couldn't I caressed her jaw line with my thumbs to let her know I understood her intentions through she was unable to move.

"It's ok, we are friends you mean a lot to me" I said wanting to calm her down while begging to calm me too. I wasn't sure about what we had just done, we shared a moment of mental connection which had been very different from other times, it wasn't just magic…but…but….it couldn't be love. _Well, ok why not? We are friends, close friends and I do love her! God I really need her. She's hypnotizing, I love her scent._ Without thinking I started running my hands up and down her back, caressing every inch of it with extremely calm. She sighed and squeezed my body like she was letting herself go into her fears for the first time in life. I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. I let myself go into my doubts too diving in Tara's scent like never before. At the time she was breathing near my ear but it didn't feel like the other times when one of us was crying or just hiding from the world in the other's arms, her breathing was rhythmical, significant, and practically erotic. Trough I didn't want to believe it I started wanting to catch her breath, to make it mine and keep it safe inside of my body. I opened my eyes and I found a suddenly appetizing sight, her skin.

_Silky, pale, young and hot skin of hers_ shivers were racing through my own skin _if I could kiss it, hmm…Tara's shoulders…what could be more wonderful? Huh, I know…Tara's neck…Waouh_ I stopped thinking when I felt the most intense sensation in my whole life, I couldn't' believe what she was doing. Her lips were licking my own neck and she seemed to enjoy my smell as well as I enjoyed hers. Could her be flirting? Was it a sign of what scared her minutes ago? Was it a sign of what I was scared of? It was like if she had read my thoughts but she felt strong enough to do what we both were dreaming. I parted our bodies for a second to look at my from-right-now-favourite-eyes and I smiled at her confused but flirting look. Since she was nervous and confused as I was I understood it was my time to tease her and find out what were we going, and what the hell was happening. Somehow everything passed by through my mind as a short movie and I almost start crying. Instead of it I decided to be brave, yeah like in _brave heart_, I always liked that film, or like the amazons.

_yeah that's it will, you have to be strong, strong like amazons. You have her in your arms you want her, she wants you…you're friends, it's not like friends can't kiss at all, you've always kissed her but…those lips…they're appetizing and…but no no no! No way willow, you can lose her, your precious relationship. No, never ever touch her lips …you might like it and then how could you still be friends? Does she doubt like me? What dos she want? Right now I can read her desire in her cheeks turning redder. Wow, what is she doing now? She's leaning to me; oh wow is she going to kiss me? Oh my god it can't be happening we're just friends…_ "Tara…I…" she gently kissed my nose "love you" I finished my sentence a few seconds later and her smile widened. Y wrapped her waist and pushed her to our bed until she was resting on her back and I could lean on the top of her. We embarrassed each other and our eyes made contact again. She kissed my nose again and at the same time I kissed her chin so our faces fit perfectly and I could almost feel the warmth in her mouth. We played this silly game until I decided to change the rules and moved up to kiss her nose and as she did her way down to get to my chin we caressed each other's lips and a spark of energy lit up our souls. "I love you" we gasped at the same time. I couldn't help hugging her closer fearful but surprised of the intensity of her power on me. She was a witch, she was my friend, she was a beautiful woman but I still don't know what of this facts made her the Goddess she is.

In that moment I was the happiest woman in the world but I really didn't want to think what was about to happen. The silly "I-kiss-your-nose-you-kiss-my-chin-game" went on during some minutes, may be hours because I couldn't think straight, until one of us stopped her trip from nose to chin totally frustrated and finally trapped the other's lips starting our sweet battle.

I remember losing my mind, my body, every possibility of taking control of the situation sweep away. We started with gentle kissing, then it turned in a more passionate kissage and finally we tangled our bodies and melted our spirits to create anew woman who wasn't me but she wasn't Tara either.

After giving me to my friend like I never did before with Oz by just kissing her, I get some control again and I realized what we were doing. I stopped the kiss and asked her kinda worried. "We'll regret tomorrow, won't we?" "Provably" she answered and kissed me fiercely to make me know that if it never happened again we should get drunk of the magic that filled the dorm.

That night, the end of our life hurt very much but we were born gain in a different world where the sun was brighter. I woke up blushing because of the dream I had where Tara and I fell asleep in some moment while sharing our new found love.

Suddenly I felt uncomfortable and I opened my eyes to meet Tara's face in front of me, just a few inches away. It hadn't been a dream, It happened. The truth hit my heart and broke it like a cold arrow.

She was looking at me, she had already been awake for some time and now she was talking to me with her eyes again. It was my Tara.

_ok willow, it is regretting time, it was wonderful while it was reality but from now it must be your own fantasy…at least thank her for showing you heaven_ "Tara…I" she didn't let me say anything, she put a hand on my neck and pulled me near her to kiss me again with a mixture of love, passion, hope and truth that filled my heart.

" 'morning baby"

Tara…my Tara…my lover.

N/A. if you wanna review it would be really welcome.

Baby, thank you for giving me the key to this new world. Love you. I am you know…yours. marina


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